Twenty-Eight. Only four days left until I'm twenty-eight. I've got two years left of my twenties (. Last year, I finally felt like "I made it into adulthood". It was a series of events that year that lead up to it, but it feels very real. I don't know if it takes that long for the average to person to 'grow up', but there you go. Nevertheless, I'm still growing, but now I feel like it's more 'growing wiser' rather than 'growing up'. Geez...maybe I'm a bit full-of-myself. Oh well, I'm grown up now, you can't teach an old dog new tricks.
Despite my love of being the center of attention, and lack of shyness, I realized, I don't really have any friends. This is something I started pondering on about six months ago. I have people I adore, I have people I see regularly, and sometimes we do get together. The only people who REALLY know me are my mother, and husband. Whilst cleaning the kitchen last Sunday, I made the decision to jump start my blog with a birthday post : 28 Things You Didn't Know About Me. Here is something special. I tried to make the majority of them things that either my husband or my mother doesn't know. Hello, world, This is me.
28 Things You Didn't Know About Me.
1. I believe in soul mates.-- my husband is the only one who knows this until now. Did you know we both lost our two front teeth in a bike accident at the same age? And we both have a scar on the side of our torso- which both of us aquired at age 23-- his is the shape of a cresent, and mine is in the shape of a star.--and this is only the tip of the iceburg.
2. I crave deep converstaion.-- You do not know how badly I want to talk about deep topics and express my feelings in an accepting atmosphere. --this is something I have NEVER confessed.
3. I hate soocer. -- I think my father would disown me. My husband is the only one who knows this.
4. I have a weird fear hieghts (husband knows). I'm not afraid of riding in an air plane for flying in a hot air balloon. but I am afraid of falling off a ladder, or walking on the top floor of the Mall near the clear see through railing. I think it's because I fear the pain, not the fall. If I fall from someplace high, I'm probably gonna die, so I won't be in pain for very long.
5. At one point I did not believe in soul mates. (husband knows)
6. I actually crave drama, but I am not a pot-stirer. I know that seems like an oxymoron, but it's true! I don't particularly like drama when it's happening, but I do enjoy the oppertunity it brings to deepen a relationship with someone. I've noticed that for the most part, when I have drama with someone it usually ends with a deep conversation (see? reference number 2?) and because I don't yell, and I usually listen first, it comes out rather well. I always walk away learning something. Most of the time it's something about myself, but sometimes it's just that the other person is a crazy bitch. *shocked simlie*
7. I'm the kind of person I would want as a friend. I'm proud to say that, but is it ironic that part of that is why I don't have friends? Here's the thing, I'm honest, I love deep converstaion, I'm loyal even behind your back, and even if I don't like you, I never make you look like a bad person; just a real one. I believe that everyone deserves compassion. I guess that even though I feel I make a good friend, I don't know how to make friends. I blame my mother. My kids will probably blame me as well.
8. I did have a happy childhood, but quite honestly, I don't remember ever having a 'happiest moment'. When I look back on my childhood, it's really all bland and grey. Nothings ever really sad or happy. It just....was. I find this ironic, being I really try to be happy now.
9. My true feelings about losing wieght.. Yes, I'm fat. Yes I workout. But I don't workout to lose wieght. I do it for fun. That's all. You heard me.
10. Disney movies make me cry
11. I actually don't mind being in the hospital. Ok, I don't care for the being sick part of it, but really.... Food gets brought to you (I actually don't think it's all bad), you don't have to get up for everything you want, people bring you gifts and flowers, and someone else takes care of the kids for a while. Most of the time I had some sort of pain, and if you know me, I wait until the last mintue to go. When I get there, I get drugs so the pain goes away. It's bliss. I don't mean any disrepect to the people that go to the hospital with life threatening illness, but everytime I had to stay for health reasons, and I'd rather not go to the hospital, so don't get me wrong. But when I do wind up there, I take the oppertunity to enjoy it.
12. I know my purpose in life, I'm just not fullfilling it, and I'm at peace with that because right now I need to be with my children and help them find their purpose in life.
13. I regret not pushing myself in high school. In college, I had no problem getting straight As. I was lazy in high school. Plain and simple.
14. I sing my heart out when I'm in my car alone. OK, I suppose that doesn't surprise alot of you, but you did not know it!
15. When I sing it's usually musical theater songs.
16. I love sharing secrets, I'm a great secret keeper. There is only a handful of times I've broken a secret. 1. I had two friends in high school that vowed to share an apartment after graduation. But in time, they both realized that it might not have been a good idea. They both told me, but not each other. I broke the ice on that one....... 2. I broke a secret promise when it would negatively effect the relationship of someone I love. .... 3. When it was danger to someones health.
17. I'm actually a great listener. You wouldn't know it. I talk way too much. But I have alot of sympathy, and when someone needs an ear, I listen. It was more apparent during elementary, when I was shy, and didn't talk much. Teachers would even take me out of an activity to console a fellow classmate, believe it or not.
18. I only became good at singing because my elementary music teacher cut me the first cut of choir try outs in fourth grade. I sang everyday for the next year. The following year at try outs, I'll never forget the look on her face.
19. I still have dreams about being in high school. - NO ONE KNOWS THIS. I'm embarassed cuz I feel like it's silly. I don't why I dream about still being in high school consistantly.
20. I have no desire to be famous. Couldn't take all the critizing, despite the fact that I love being the center of attention.
21. I come from various religious backgrounds. My father's side was Lutheran, and my mothers side is Jahovah Witness, but both my parents are theists.
22. My happy place- it's a lush forest with a small stream filled with rabbits, butterflies, and humming birds.
23. I can't sleep with a body part hanging over the edge, I'm still pretty sure there is a monster under my bed.
24. If I read an informative book, I act like I'm an expert. I don't know why I come off this way, I guess I'm just excited about what I learned.
25. I can't handle naurcatics. Each time I'm prescribed them, I feel awful. I don't understand why some like it. Sometimes I prefer the pain that remains after taking tylenol.
26. If I won the lottery, I probably wouldn't donate it. Instead, I'd start a company, and give as many people as I could jobs, and try to put something into the economy.
27. I will always pose for a picture. Now you got me, try to find me at my worst, I'll still pose for a picture. I wanna be remembered as a real person.
28. Being Happy doesn't come naturally to me. I have to make a conicous choice to be happy, and frankly it's annoying. But when I do make that choice, life is more enjoyable. It is getting easier to be happy. Even when I don't have many friends. :0)